Fighting Fear.

After Mira died, I felt like Job. I had nothing left but my faith. I lost it all but Him. I found, in the days and weeks and months that followed, that I had walked in the darkest of valleys and made it out. Surviving the loss of her was the fiery refinement that made… Continue reading Fighting Fear.

Anxiety/Depression · Grief · marriage

Honestly, I’m fine.

If I could be completely honest, I'd tell you I'm not okay. I'd tell you I'm tired of throwing up nearly every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I'd tell you I hate being exhausted constantly and feeling so zapped that I'm finding myself in bed by 7 on the regular. I'd tell you I'm… Continue reading Honestly, I’m fine.

Adoption · Faith · Grief · Parenting

To you he’s just a baby boy, but to me…

I’ve always found the way strangers ooh and aww over a stranger’s baby to be odd. Perhaps because I’ve never done it. Having walked the path of infertility, miscarriage (six times for that matter), then child loss (after our five month old daughter passed away), I have spent most of my adult life avoiding babies,… Continue reading To you he’s just a baby boy, but to me…

Adoption · Faith · Grief · Parenting

Faith to write in ink.

There’s something about kids, babies, and pregnancy that leads to a lot of counting on the fingers. We find ourselves counting weeks down and weeks to go, marking special dates and anniversaries, planning out appointments, and anticipating milestones. Optimism and faith after my first miscarriage helped me get past my fears, and I bravely scribbled… Continue reading Faith to write in ink.