Adoption · Grief · Parenting

And then there were 4. Or 5. Or 9. Whatever the number, we just added one more…

Back in mid-June, Jake and I took an anniversary trip up to the mountains and spent the week kayaking and paddleboarding on the lake, just the two of us. Makinzy was busy with the first of three weeks of volleyball camps this summer, and he and I stole away to just relax. I gave blogging a short break, and then jumped into a little home remodel project when we got back. I had big plans to blog about it all – the importance of taking hubby/wifey get-aways, the awesome kitchen update – all the good stuff.

But then life.

Life with us never stays still long.

Mak was away at youth camp (notice a theme? I might have over-booked her this summer…) and Jake and I were asked to speak at an adoption event for our agency. Right afterwards, while we were mingling and meeting other prospective adoptive parents, our social worker asked to speak with us, accompanied by a pregnancy counselor. We knew exactly what was going on – something big. We found a private area, and they gave us the news that we were matched with a birthfamily – and baby boy was recently born and they wanted us to name him. We were given some info on his family and their story (none of which I can nor want to share here – out of privacy, of course… they are incredible people) and they showed us his beautiful picture. Instant love. One look at his photo, we knew he was ours.  We named him Finley. They had respectfully and kindly let us be the ones to name him. Then we learned we had to keep it a secret for a little while! So, we set into motion our plans! Jake’s sister was the first we told – in order to enlist her help in making a reveal happen. We had already planned a first birthday cookout in memory of Mira and we were going to have it that weekend. Makinzy was still away with the youth, so I made a onesie cake (blue cake on the inside) and covered it in cream cheese icing. I outlined it to show that it was, in fact, a onesie and wrote Guess what?! on the top. When she came home, we surprised her and she sobbed to most joyous tears, and then she cut it open and saw it was blue for a baby boy. We managed to get her to keep the secret too, and on the day of Mira’s first birthday cookout, after we had cake and collected “presents” – gift cards for heart families at the hospital in the cardiac ICU – we had Jake’s sister “discover” a large delivery box. She brought it around for us to see. Jake is notorious for his unique Amazon purchases (partly because he’s Jake, partly because he’s an elementary principal – unicycles and giant t-rex costumes for example), so he calls everyone over to see what cool thing has just been delivered. We open up the box (at which point suspicions are raised and our friends and folks are thinking – is this what I think it is?!) and out pop blue balloons, and in the bottom of the box was a picture of Baby Fin with a card for his grandparents saying Will you be my Granny and Pawpaw? and Will you be my Nana and Poppop? signed from him. It was so emotional. Daddy sobbed, Jeanette cried, Ben jumped up and down, and Mama squealed then yelled at me because she just knew I had a secret. It was perfect. We learned about him on Friday, told our close friends and family on Sunday at the cookout, and then we waited and waited for the thumbs up from our agency that some important paperwork was complete. Then we were able to pick him up Wednesday afternoon. We posted the videos taken of us telling Mak and opening the box at the cookout late Tuesday. Since then, we’ve been adjusting to life as a family of 4 again, and getting used to the newborn feeding/sleeping schedule, plus, we have been working on slowly and tenderly building a relationship with some of his incredible birthfamily.

Needless to say, I haven’t blogged much for very sweet reasons.

There are so many emotions to tease through- – –

  • the unexpected wave of saddness a new baby brings  – it seemed to magnify the loss of Mira… a feeling I didn’t anticipate
  • the sweetness of a boy – as well as the challenges
  • the importance of and love involved in open adoption

We are overjoyed to have Finley… I couldn’t be more grateful for God’s provision for him and for His unending love for us.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! – 1 John 1:3



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