I have approximately 23,540 things to do right now, seeing that it’s back to school! Orientation is soon, and I’m sitting amongst seating charts and IEPs – yet I had the sudden urge to write. I was humming along with a praise song on my Spotify playlist currently playing from my Smartboard speakers and a line in this less-familiar song talked about the earth trying to fill the void we have within us that only Jesus can.
Though the earth may try, to satisfy my heart/
Though the earth may try, to tell me you’re not faithful/
Though the earth may try, to blind me from your goodness/
You shine through/
You’re the only one who
Fills me up.
This school year is different. I’m going back to an old position and doing mostly what I’ve done in the past, but I am doing some new things. In addition to a new baby and a new adoption and having my own middle schooler, this new school year brings both excitement and challenge. I have newish colleagues, newish procedures/schedules, though there is an appealing feeling of freshness to the year. I have a good feeling about the year. I’m optimistic it will be a great one. Yet, already, I have encountered people/situations that I feel already zapping my emotional energy. You know what I’m talking about? I call those people leeches. They can suck your patience dry. While singing that song, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that no one will fill up my tank the way He can. And I found myself sitting at my desk, piled high (well not really – I am a neat freak – so piled high means like two sheets) with a long list of things to finish, I am sitting here in worship.
I have blogged often about the angst I feel in August. All the newness and stress of adjusting to a new situation and a new schedule has always made me feel anxious and frustrated. This year, I am dwelling in that feeling of freshness and choosing to see the newness as a clean slate after a long, difficult year. And those people who leech out my strength, zap my patience, and wear me out? They’re everywhere. I mean, it doesn’t matter where you work, what you do, or who you are, you will always encounter those people. But, because of who He is and what He has done, He will fill me up with the strength to deal with whatever may come.
On days when I am tired, feeling unsatisfied with work, with life, with people… He will supply me.
On days when I feel let down, disappointed, frustrated, that others are unfaithful… He will remind me that He’s faithful.
On days when I can’t see through all the ick, He will show me His goodness.
When my tank is empty, He promises to fill me up