You’ve probably heard that “comparison is the thief of joy.”
It’s true. Especially for women.
We compare our homes, our incomes, our cars, our bodies, our hair.
We compare our kids, relationships, and careers.
We wonder how others manage to keep it all together and do it all, knowing deep down it’s just a carefully curated image projected out, and likely someone is looking at us the same way… yet still, we compare.
Lately, I’ve been in a season when I find myself tempted to fall into this.
In my writing team, I see the ladies I work with smashing goals, and I have to remind myself that I’m not able to put in the time it takes to accomplish some of those goals – I’m working full-time in a stressful job, raising a busy teenager and a newborn, managing relationships, and holding on to numerous other professional and personal responsibilities.
I scroll and compare my homemaking skills, my fashion sense, my DIY abilities. I literally caught myself as I drove through my neighborhood, comparing and wondering if our home is decorated enough for Halloween, compared to other houses around us. Keeping up with the Joneses much? Ugh. I was legitimately disgusted with my own behavior.
I don’t know why we do this to ourselves when the truth is no one really cares. Truly. It’s like I tell my middle school kids, no one is looking at you. Really, everyone is so busy looking at themselves, trying to see if they measure up, if they fit in, they don’t notice you’re just as out-of-sorts as they are. It’s the same in Mom World.
It doesn’t matter who I impress if I am not impressing the One who made me.
Moms are out here striving to be #mombosses, writing, Instagramming, decorating, cooking, selling makeup and leggings and oils and dishes and supplements, all while trying to look put together, support the PTA, and get the kids to practice on time. We’re striving so hard. But for whom? And why?
Am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10)
We are enslaved in our striving to impress and please and have it all, when the only thing that is worthy of such strife is the cause of Christ. Can you imagine if we all worked that hard at pleasing Him, sharing His love, ministering to those who are desperate for hope?
I want to have it all together, I want to do it all, but I can’t. My identity as a mom, wife, writer, teacher, whatever, is important, but it cannot consume me. It can’t be where I put my value or worth. My worth only comes from my identity as His child, His bondservant.
Instead of comparing ourselves to the women around us and those we see online, we must compare ourselves to the women He called us to be.