This year, I’ll turn 32. I spent most, okay maybe all, of my teens and twenties hating my body. Too much here, not enough there. Too wide, too soft, too something. And that’s despite the fact that from the time my husband and I started dating, he constantly voiced approval, desire, and appreciation of me,… Continue reading Looking in the mirror.
I was listening to our local Christian radio station this morning on my way to work and I caught the end of a caller sharing how her son was in terrible condition following some illness or accident and how God healed him despite the doctor’s grim prognosis. At first, I smiled a grateful “He can… Continue reading The Mystery of Miracles
I’ve written half a dozen or more unpublished blogs on this new wave of grief that has enveloped me. It’s almost shameful that the world seems to have a “one-year” expiration date on grief, yet mine seemed to attack most debilitatingly in this second year without Mira. The first 6-12 months after she died were… Continue reading Running in the right direction.
I’ve always found the way strangers ooh and aww over a stranger’s baby to be odd. Perhaps because I’ve never done it. Having walked the path of infertility, miscarriage (six times for that matter), then child loss (after our five month old daughter passed away), I have spent most of my adult life avoiding babies,… Continue reading To you he’s just a baby boy, but to me…
I'm one day into my week long "adventure" as a single parent. My husband is out of the country for the next seven days, and I'm already missing him terribly. I already feel battered and exhausted. This is the second time Jake gone on a trip out of the country and has left me for… Continue reading Solo.
There’s something about kids, babies, and pregnancy that leads to a lot of counting on the fingers. We find ourselves counting weeks down and weeks to go, marking special dates and anniversaries, planning out appointments, and anticipating milestones. Optimism and faith after my first miscarriage helped me get past my fears, and I bravely scribbled… Continue reading Faith to write in ink.
You've probably heard that "comparison is the thief of joy." It's true. Especially for women. We compare our homes, our incomes, our cars, our bodies, our hair. We compare our kids, relationships, and careers. We wonder how others manage to keep it all together and do it all, knowing deep down it's just a carefully… Continue reading Comparisons.
In a perfect world, I would not have overslept this morning, rolling out of bed in a panicked frenzy to get dressed as my concerned mom (my son's caretaker for the day) came inside through the garage door, calling helllloooo y'all, realizing from the dark rooms that we must still be in bed. In a… Continue reading In a perfect world.
I have approximately 23,540 things to do right now, seeing that it’s back to school! Orientation is soon, and I’m sitting amongst seating charts and IEPs - yet I had the sudden urge to write. I was humming along with a praise song on my Spotify playlist currently playing from my Smartboard speakers and a… Continue reading He fills my tank.
Open adoption is a concept that is highly misunderstood. Often even the mention of openness in adoption is met with uncomfortable looks, from everyone from prospective adoptive parents to friends at church to strangers in the grocery store. That discomfort is born from fear. And let me tell you, open adoption is nothing to fear… Continue reading Open adoption is opening your heart.