“The tick-tock of the clock is painful, all sane and logical…” Remember that song? Eve 6? Man. A lifetime ago. They say time passes faster each year, and I find that’s completely true. I spent much of my teens and twenties wishing time away, longing for the next step or stage in life. In high… Continue reading Time.
This year, I’ll turn 32. I spent most, okay maybe all, of my teens and twenties hating my body. Too much here, not enough there. Too wide, too soft, too something. And that’s despite the fact that from the time my husband and I started dating, he constantly voiced approval, desire, and appreciation of me,… Continue reading Looking in the mirror.
I was listening to our local Christian radio station this morning on my way to work and I caught the end of a caller sharing how her son was in terrible condition following some illness or accident and how God healed him despite the doctor’s grim prognosis. At first, I smiled a grateful “He can… Continue reading The Mystery of Miracles
I’ve always found the way strangers ooh and aww over a stranger’s baby to be odd. Perhaps because I’ve never done it. Having walked the path of infertility, miscarriage (six times for that matter), then child loss (after our five month old daughter passed away), I have spent most of my adult life avoiding babies,… Continue reading To you he’s just a baby boy, but to me…
I'm one day into my week long "adventure" as a single parent. My husband is out of the country for the next seven days, and I'm already missing him terribly. I already feel battered and exhausted. This is the second time Jake gone on a trip out of the country and has left me for… Continue reading Solo.
There’s something about kids, babies, and pregnancy that leads to a lot of counting on the fingers. We find ourselves counting weeks down and weeks to go, marking special dates and anniversaries, planning out appointments, and anticipating milestones. Optimism and faith after my first miscarriage helped me get past my fears, and I bravely scribbled… Continue reading Faith to write in ink.
Dear PICU (or CVICU or NICU or any other ICU) Mama, You are a Warrior. When a child is critically ill or injured, it is impossible to describe the suffocating feelings of helplessness, fear, and frustration that rip through a mother. Beyond that, it is impossible to describe how the experience will change your identity.… Continue reading Dear PICU Mama, You are a Warrior.