I’ve always found the way strangers ooh and aww over a stranger’s baby to be odd. Perhaps because I’ve never done it. Having walked the path of infertility, miscarriage (six times for that matter), then child loss (after our five month old daughter passed away), I have spent most of my adult life avoiding babies,… Continue reading To you he’s just a baby boy, but to me…
I'm one day into my week long "adventure" as a single parent. My husband is out of the country for the next seven days, and I'm already missing him terribly. I already feel battered and exhausted. This is the second time Jake gone on a trip out of the country and has left me for… Continue reading Solo.
There’s something about kids, babies, and pregnancy that leads to a lot of counting on the fingers. We find ourselves counting weeks down and weeks to go, marking special dates and anniversaries, planning out appointments, and anticipating milestones. Optimism and faith after my first miscarriage helped me get past my fears, and I bravely scribbled… Continue reading Faith to write in ink.
Dear PICU (or CVICU or NICU or any other ICU) Mama, You are a Warrior. When a child is critically ill or injured, it is impossible to describe the suffocating feelings of helplessness, fear, and frustration that rip through a mother. Beyond that, it is impossible to describe how the experience will change your identity.… Continue reading Dear PICU Mama, You are a Warrior.
You've probably heard that "comparison is the thief of joy." It's true. Especially for women. We compare our homes, our incomes, our cars, our bodies, our hair. We compare our kids, relationships, and careers. We wonder how others manage to keep it all together and do it all, knowing deep down it's just a carefully… Continue reading Comparisons.
Not too long ago, Jake turned and looked at me, with a serious expression across his face, and he told me I had changed. That’s not exactly what a wife wants to hear, you know. It’s an ominous, loaded statement. We were at a stoplight, discussing an upcoming surgery I would be having. I had… Continue reading Better.
I hate when I get in these moods. After our last miscarriage, as most people who know me (or have read my blogs) know, I saw a grief therapist for a little while, mainly because I wanted to know that the way I deal with loss is healthy. Little did I know how important that… Continue reading Floating.
In a perfect world, I would not have overslept this morning, rolling out of bed in a panicked frenzy to get dressed as my concerned mom (my son's caretaker for the day) came inside through the garage door, calling helllloooo y'all, realizing from the dark rooms that we must still be in bed. In a… Continue reading In a perfect world.
I have approximately 23,540 things to do right now, seeing that it’s back to school! Orientation is soon, and I’m sitting amongst seating charts and IEPs - yet I had the sudden urge to write. I was humming along with a praise song on my Spotify playlist currently playing from my Smartboard speakers and a… Continue reading He fills my tank.
Open adoption is a concept that is highly misunderstood. Often even the mention of openness in adoption is met with uncomfortable looks, from everyone from prospective adoptive parents to friends at church to strangers in the grocery store. That discomfort is born from fear. And let me tell you, open adoption is nothing to fear… Continue reading Open adoption is opening your heart.